dont be sad, im doing this because i love you

i woke up today telling myself i will not talk to her. she texts me twice today first saying "look what u did my voice is all froggy" then saying "and im bout to pass out at work zz..". i really wanted to text her bad, every muscle in my body was telling me to text her back, but i couldnt. i couldnt text her because i know if i did i will just feel like crap. the dilemma at hand is that if i keep talking to her, she will just continue to have her mind made up and nothing i say will change her mind. but if i dont talk to her, she will also slowly get over it and the same result will happen in the end. what should i do then? both end in me not being able to be with her and that feeling is the worst. worst then anything i have ever felt. i also got turned down twice today, first was talking to her on the phone and then this morning hearing that i didnt get the job. i feel like ive lost all confidence. my mom also calls me today and tells me that time is running out and i need to go home soon. everything i came here to do it seems like it all failed. later tonight she text me one more time saying "im sad ur not talking to me.." and i just could not resist anymore, i had to text her back and i said "i loved talking to you, but i feel the more i talk to you the more i will try to change your mind and thats not what you want.." even after i said that, i was so hoping that she would text back with somethine, maybe something signifying that theres hope but i knew it was not happening. i continue to keep looking at her tumblr and there are some stuff there that has to do with us still. if i cannot talk to her no more i just wish she would continue updating her tumblr and blogspot so even if i dont know what she is doing everyday, even if i dont get to hear her voice and have her tell me how she feels, i can know what is going on with her life. i feel so pathetic at times but i guess thats what love is. i try to tell myself to give up but its not that easy and i continue to think about her all day long.