if only dreams were reality

last night i slightly remember having two dreams. two dreams both with her in them. Although like they say, its extremely hard to remember your dreams after you wake up, i can still remember we were happy. It seemed so vivid when the dream was happening and i fooled myself into thinking that it might be reality. That we did get back together and we were once again extremely happy where we were in our relationship.

Thats the things with dreams though, that even if you might not remember the whole dream when you wake up, you still feel the impression it left on you throughout the day. As much as i try to tell myself throughout the day yesterday and into last night that i will just need to preoccupy myself and not thinking about her. The dream speaks truth of what my mind is thinking. No matter how much i try to push her into the small pocket of my mind, once i fall asleep, the only person that i want to dream about and the only person that shows up in my dream, is her.

It sounds completely crazy to hold onto that small hope of us being able to speak again, maybe not as a couple but at least friends. It sounds even more insane to think that if we ever did start talking again that theres a possibility that the spark will light the fire again. But thats the hope that clings on even if i try to brush it away, even if the whole world tells me to rebound or to concentrate on something else.

Dreams are not reality and the small time of happiness when i'm not conscious doesnt define how i feel when i wake up. But who doesnt want their reality to match up to their dream?